Sometimes we think we could be happier if…

I’m sure more stress is caused when pondering over what could or couldn’t be done, what we should or shouldn’t change, than by the actions of doing and changing.

Some years ago, I came across a way of tackling this that has helped me enourmously to remain happy at work and in my personal life, but mainly at work, as this is the area where I have to take most decisions. Let me share this with you. Who knows, it might be of some help at some point.

  1. (Let’s write a list.) Identify what is not right.
  2. Is changing this beyond your control? Then stop worrying about it and come up with strategies to deal with it.
  3. If changing it is within your control, decide whether you want to change it. Really, do. If you are going to change it do it soon, it won’t change by itself. (Or it might, but not in the way you desire.)
  4. If you are not going to change “it”, accept that you are not going to change it and move on.

In case I haven’t expressed myself correctly, here is a more succint way of saying more or less the same thing.
“Focus on what you can do in any given situation, rather than on what you can’t do or aren’t allowed to do.”
Bruce Rosenstein in Learn from Peter Drucker, Leadership Excellence March 2010

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AT WORK?

It seems like an easy question but, apparently, it’s not. According to Daniel Gilbert (author of Stumbling on Happiness), people are not very good at predicting those things that make them happy.

It is also possible that the things that are keeping you engaged at work would be classified as “small”, such as solving a small problem, getting a difficult phone call over and done with or helping a colleague at work.

Identify what makes you happy and see if there is any way to do more of it. Give yourself time to think about this: just because it’s not obvious, it doesn’t mean it’s not possible. Once you have identified “it” you will be more alert to the possibilities that might form themselves around you. See what things at work can be changed or eliminated to create space for more meaningful activities – “meaningful” to yourself, your team and your organisation.

We spend so much time of our lives at work (or thinking about work or the possibility of work) that we deserve to give ourselves a chance to be as happy there as we can. Not always possible, but worth striving for.

Was this post useful? Make sure to read Roll Out Your Happiness Programme.

Illustration by arte_ram

 

 

Blatant resistance to change is obviously a hindrance. But it can also be a sign that there is something we have overlooked, something we have missed.

Far from immediately dismissing a “no” or “I disagree”, we’d be better off asking “why?” and then listening (really listening) to the reply. None of us like to encounter resistance, but if we see it as a red flag rather than a stonewall, we can use it to help us move forwards.

Here are five reasons why we should welcome resistance.

1. No plan is perfect – someone might have identified the flaws.

We don’t know the details of everything that is going on (phew!). People might resist a new idea or a new procedure because it will impact on their day to day operations in a way that we might not have anticipated.  There might be information we lack because it has not been necessary until now to share it.

Ask people to be specific about their objections: why do they see it that way? In which ways will it impact them? If they can only explain their resistance as a gut feeling, what might be a more appropriate option?

2. Resistance can provide a different point of view.

You can’t please everyone. In almost every situation, some people will end up being better off than others. However, welcome resistance in order to have access to another point of view.

Ask on what are they are basing their opinion. Have they “been there before”? Are they just letting past experience get in the way of development or are they really being able to see things in a different way?

3. No resistance? Is no-one taking ownership?

I’ll just go along with it. If it doesn’t work, it’s not my problem.

That’s the last thing you want anyone to think. Resistance is the first sign that people are accepting they will have a part to play in the new order. They know the change will affect them and they might just be looking out for themselves. Or they might really be concerned about the effect the change will have on their work, the team and the organisation.

It is not easy to voice resistance – nobody likes to be the one preventing others from moving forwards. It takes courage to speak out – find out what lies behind this.

4. If we don’t hear any objections: does it really mean they aren’t there?

Worse than hearing people’s objections is not hearing them. Make sure you create an environment where people can voice their disagreement if it’s there.

It’s much better to hear that people are unhappy or disagreeing with your plans than for everyone to go along with them, uncommitted and waiting for disaster to strike.

(For more on the dangers of no-one voicing their opinion, see Healthy Disagreement.)

(For ideas on how to create an environment where people feel free to speak out, see Fomenting Transparency.)

5. Welcome objections from people who care.

Sometimes all that people need to buy into a proposed change is to feel like they matter, like they are being heard, like they have been taken into account.

Anticipate their objections and have answers to their questions. Don’t dismiss resistance you hadn’t anticipated. Ask yourself: Why? Why did this take me by surprise? How can I address it?

Don’t pretend to have all the answers. If an objection takes you by surprise, ask for more information, ask for time to consider it. If you end up sticking to your guns, explain why, show that you have considered all the options and decided on what you think is best for everyone involved, for your team, for your organisation.

 

More importantly, for your own state of mind, by dealing with resistance in this way you might feel like you are using it to make things better in the long-term rather than just pushing people away.

 

The psychological contract is the perception -and this is the key word – of an employee of the mutual obligations they have with their organisation. These perceptions are influenced not just by the formal contract of employment (that would make things relatively easy) but by all the implicit and explicit promises made during his/her time at work.

Last week I introduced Jane to you, an employee who had being to lose their motivation at work, as she perceived that none of the promises the organisation had made to her were being kept. (If you haven’t done so already, click here to meet Jane.)

This perception of what someone should expect from their employer can start way before they actually begin their job: maybe during induction; maybe during the job interview; maybe even before they have had any contact with the organisation, as they read that advert in the paper that is calling out to them. But wait: there’s more.

Maybe their perceptions were shaped by what they experienced in their previous professional life, before even coming into contact with your organisation. And guess what: there’s more. Perceptions of what they should “give” at work in order to “take” might have even been formed by other aspects of their life, such as their family and the attitude to work amongst those surrounding them at an early age.

So you can see how complicated the human animal can be. By the time you begin induction of a new team member, they might have already worked out in their head what the organisation will deliver. Before we look at the role you might play in this, let’s turn back to Jane.

 

You might remember Jane saying: “In my interview, I was told there would be plenty of training opportunities.”

In fact, Jane’s conversation with Susanne, her line manager, went something like this.

Jane:
So do you think that people are able to progress in this organisation?

Susanne:
Sure – I myself started as a junior team member only five years ago. I was very aware of my strengths and weaknesses so I was able to focus on those things I needed to work on. I was lucky that a couple of vacancies came up at the right time in different departments – and being in the right place at the right time, I was able to move around the organisation quite a bit.

Susanne wasn’t lying. She wasn’t trying to impress Jane either. But Jane, instead of hearing just Susanne’s personal experience, heard that if you want to, in this company, you could work on your skills through training. That if you networked, you could move up in the organisation. Jane thought: “That statement about being in the right place at the right time is not really true, it’s who you know that counts and Susanne met many people as she moved around different departments. In any case, I’m sure Susanne will help me grow at work, she seems that kind of person.”

So, from day one, Jane thought that if she worked hard enough, in a few years time she’d be promoted or at least would be able to rotate throughout the organisation to improve her career prospects.

This didn’t quite happen. Sure, Susanna had a “how’s it going chat” with Jane three months into her job. Jane seemed happy, so Susanne didn’t even think of asking about her aspirations or expectations. When only six months later Susanne left, Jane felt betrayed as she had assumed that she would be working with her for a couple of years. When Laurence, the new manager arrived, he had to cut the training budget and put the new coaching programme on hold, as the financial state of the organisation was worse than it had been before. When the training budget was reinstated, it came with limitations. Training had to be directly related to the current job and not future aspirations.

So, what can we as managers, team leaders or general people-in-charge-of-others do to prevent the psychological contract breach?

We can encourage open conversations with our team members.
The psychological contract changes over time, as perceptions change, as new information is assimilated and so it is worth monitoring expectations.

Avoid making promises that you are not absolutely sure you can keep.
And as soon as you know you won’t be able to keep them, say so.

When recruiting, try to let the candidate talk to as many other people in the organisation, to allow them to get an accurate picture of their future workplace.

Similarly, find opportunities to enable communication between the new team member and others in the organisation early on, to help shape expectations.

Keep communicating with your team members, especially during times of uncertainty. When people receive ambiguous information, they will fill in the gaps themselves, increasing the chances of perceiving a contract breach.

Sometimes a perceived breach in someone’s psychological contract is difficult to avoid, as it is impossible to control how someone perceives the world. Different factors affect the likelihood of someone perceiving that the deal has been broken: how important the deal was to the employee;

Their previous experience in the workplace and with their previous managers;

Their current job prospects (if these are good, they are more likely to perceive a breach);

Understanding why the promise has been broken;

Perception of how much they are fulfilling their end of the bargain.

So, while sometimes there is little we can do to prevent a breach, there are actions we can take to decrease the negative emotions that might result from that breach. These emotions can manifest themselves  in behaviours such as cynicism, decreased commitment at work; lower job satisfaction, less “going beyond the call of duty” and even the desire to leave.  So the consequences resulting from a breach of the psychological contract can be considerable. They can even lead to organisational retaliatory behaviour, where direct harm is caused to the organisation or individuals in it.

Understanding the cause of the breach is important. If a real promise has been broken by you or the organisation, it is important to clarify why this has happened – the feelings of violation will decrease if the employee feels like they have been treated fairly and with respect and the breach was unavoidable.  By being as open and honest as possible, you might just begin to build trust again and avoid losing the loyalty and engagement of an employee.

 

I’m thinking of leaving my job. In my interview I was told that there would be plenty of training opportunities; that I would learn about the different sides of the business; that I would probably get a promotion in two years or so. None of this has really happened. Now I’m hearing that after the restructuring process, we’re going to have more options on how we work – yeah, right, two options more likely. We either do the work or we don’t. I’m thinking about going down the DON’T option… but not by leaving my job, I can’t really quit at the moment, there’s not much else out there… Oh, five o’clock. Time to go. Haven’t finished the report yet… It will have to wait till tomorrow.”

Jane can’t help feeling this way. She’s lost trust in the organisation. She’s lost trust in her line manager – to be honest, she’s lost trust in the three line managers she’s had since she got this job. She feels like all the promises that were made to her have been broken.

In fact, none of these promises were ever made.

Jane read (or listened) between the lines. And anyway, what she was hoping to get from Here We Go Again Ltd, was what everyone expects to get from their employer, right? And as no-one has ever bothered to make sure the world of work in she had in her head, was what HWGA Ltd offered, she thinks that all the promises that had been made to her have been broken.

Jane is experiencing breach of her psychological contract.

The psychological contract is the PERCEPTION – and this is the key word – a person has of the mutual obligations they have with their organisation. What she/he will get in return for what she is expected to give.

Over the next two posts, I will be using Jane’s situation to talk about the psychological contract: the factors that form it, how it affects us at work and what can managers do to prevent a breach from happening.

But first, let me leave you with some questions:

  • What are the promises that Jane thinks have been broken?
  • Assuming that these promises formed part of her psychological contract but were never actually articulated as promises by anyone in the organisation, what actions might have led Jane to think they were being promised?
  • What effect is this breach of the psychological contract having on Jane?
  • What other factors are affecting her perception of this breach?

Finally, one reflective question:

  • Think about your own job in your organisation. What forms your psychological contract with your organisation?
  • What unstated obligations have you got and what do you expect to get from your organisation in return?
  • If you are in a leadership position, you might be the person representing the organisation in the psychological contract of those reporting to you. Are you aware of what their expectations are about what the organisation will do for them?

 

 

 
leadership through change cover image2

Our director, Pilar Orti, has created a new blog to complement the self-learning programme, “Leadership through Change: Stepping into Other People’s Shoes”.

If you are going through organisational change yourself or  you are simply interested in how people behave during transitions, navigate through to www.leadershipthroughchange.com. And if Twitter is your thing, follow @unusualconnect .

© Unusual Connections 2012 Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha